Saying No to Our Children (Nov 2011)
When I first started teaching, I observed a young girl named Lauren approach her friend, Allison, and ask to use one of her fancy new pencils. Lauren queried in a very syrupy fashion, with lots of eye batting. I expected Allison to either say “Yes” or give an explanation as to why not. Instead, Allison simply looked kindly at Lauren and said, “No,” followed by… silence. Lauren didn’t seem to know where to go, said, “Oh,” and went off to find another pencil.
Helping Children to Become Capable Problem Solvers (Oct 2011)
The Latin word for education is educare – to draw forth. Too often adults (with the best of intentions) try to “stuff in” by telling children what they should be learning from a given situation and how they should be thinking about it, versus helping them to draw their own conclusions and make their own decisions.
Letting Routine be the Boss (Sept 2011)
If you’re a parent of a school-aged child you may be feeling both excited for school to start and apprehensive. While the children will be back at school and engaged, back-to-school also means back to busy schedules and long days. Sometimes just getting out of the house in the morning can be a monumental victory.
Encouragement vs. Praise (August 2011)
As Rudolf Dreikurs said in his book, Children the Challenge, “Children need encouragement like a plant needs water.” To thrive, children need an authentic understanding that are capable, accepted, and are valued for who they are (not who we want them to be).
Tools for Follow-Through, Part II (July 2011)
Children really want to know that we mean what we say, and will only say what we mean. This helps them feel safe and in control vs. feeling controlled because our behavior is predictable. When they can predict how we react then they can manage their reactions and emotions consistently.
Tools for Follow-Through, Part I (June 2011)
The key to using these tools, is to do your best to remain silent after the follow-through. Our silence should communicate that we’re serious, but also that we respect the the child and have faith in their ability to make respectful decisions.
Respectful Relationships with Children (May 2011)
Effective discipline is both kind and firm at the same time. This makes sense to most of us, and in our best moments we are able to strike that balance. It’s in those moments of stress, however, that we gravitate to being either kind or firm in an attempt to control the situation.
Tips for Facilitating Emotional Intelligence in Kids, Part II (April 2011)
Give your child specific, supportive feedback about his interactions with others. Use these statements to help him discover his own identity as one who cares for himself and others. Don’t tell him, show him through careful selection of your words.
Tips for Facilitating Emotional Intelligence in Kids (March 2011)
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a new parenting directive. Although it was considered enough to feed, clothe and raise children in our parents’ day, this is no longer sufficient because our understanding of what they really need from us has changed.
Teacher Follow Through and Classroom Harmony (January 2011)
By using tools, such as follow-through, we are able to naturally avoid lecturing and punishment. Children in the classroom watch us carefully. When see us handling situations with dignity and respect, but handling them they understand that the ground rules are consistent and meant for everyone. They gain a sense of security in that they will be kept safe, and that respect is more than a word that is used to accomplish a goal.